It's human nature to constantly strive for perfection. One always wants to be the best, the first, the ultimate winner, the topper and so on! The thirst is never quenched! The race never ends!
Although it's mostly a positive attribute, sometimes it might affect negatively. How, you may ask.
Humans are critical, discerning, judgemental. We are continuously evaluating and judging others, our eagle eyes never missing the shortcomings /faults of another. We are quick to point out mistakes and slow to forgive/ forget any commission or omission.
We are harsh and unrelenting in our judgement of others and even worse when it comes to our own selves! What does that imply? Simply that we are our harshest critics! We almost never see ourselves matching up to the "standards" that would make us perfect in our own eyes!
In our quest to be perfect, we are forever trying to be better than the best! Although the efforts and the desire are admirable, it also makes it belittle ourselves. As if, we aren't happy with the way we are....
We want someone's gorgeous looks or great height or enviable figure or talent or something else which someone has, but are oblivious to our own talents or strengths.
Innumerable times I have found myself "not enough" because of my self evaluation or because of someone else's criticism of me. I was never 'pretty enough', 'tall enough', 'lively enough', 'efficient enough' ... The list went on. Bottom line- I wasn't good enough.
It wasn't enough that I'm ME. I was supposed to be like someone else. While there were things I could and I did improve upon, there were certain things beyond me! I tried to make up for my want of good looks by working on my personality.
Now, I realise that if I want others to accept me as 'ME' , I have to accept myself as I am. I have to love and respect myself for all that I am....
After Daddy's demise I had my moment of epiphany while listening to BTS songs. Their message of 'love yourself' resonated with me and learning about how each one of them went through similar emotions at some point, I learnt that it wasn't too late! That's when I realised that I have only one life and I am living it on my terms alone. I am not here to impress anyone nor to compete with others or to be the best! I promised myself that I will not judge myself by others' standards. BTS taught me to love and accept myself as I am, so I can love and accept others the way they are without any judgement or expectations!
These boys in their twenties taught me, someone double their age, what it means to love myself!
Loving myself doesn't mean I have become a rebel. Nor does it imply arrogance, vanity or complacency. Nor have I stopped growing as an individual. It simply means I am totally comfortable being me, happy as I am, in love with myself I refuse to see or judge myself with the eyes of others. I refuse to become what I'm not, just because I'm expected to!
It means I value and respect myself enough to embrace the real me with all my faults and shortcomings, while loving myself unconditionally and wholeheartedly. Those who love me obviously love me for being me and those who want me to change, definitely don't!
Kim Namjoon aka RM of BTS speaks for each one of us when he says we must love ourselves to be able to love others.
well said Mamoo :)
Super.. 👌