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It takes Two to Tango!

We first met in Sep '97. We kept meeting off and on till he left Pune in 1999. The letters and phone calls kept us together through troubled times. We finally got married in Oct 2003.

After the initial euphoria and giddiness of "Just Married" passed, we realised a few important things. I would like to share those 'pearls of wisdom' with you.

Whether it's a love marriage or an arranged marriage, doesn't decide its success! Both husband and wife have to pitch in. Yes, both.

Living together is the key to understanding each other. No matter how long your courtship is, you really don't know the other person till you live with him/her under the same roof! That's how you learn about the snoring wife or the wet-towel-on-bed husband! 😏

Do not have any expectations from your spouse or from anybody, for that matter! A relationship does imply give and take but expectations only lead to more expectations !

So, armed with my newly found wisdom about marriage, I shared with Adit the 'before and after' of being married! We discussed touchy topics and made mutual decisions regarding career, kids, etc. It was a relief that we were generally on the same page about most things! Well, we did have our disagreements , but that's normal!

In Sep 2006 we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl and we named her Naomi (she was born during Navratras). Suddenly the centre of my existence converged on that one person- Naomi.

Becoming a 'parent' was definitely the highlight of my life! I would stare at her for hours and mentally plan what to do when she grew up!

In July 2010 we were blessed with our 'sunshine' Zinnia and the family felt complete! Naomi wanted a little sister after all!

My two little angels couldn't be more different! They were poles apart ! Naomi was laid back and quiet, Zinnia was the resident tornado! Naomi was organised and sweet tempered, Zinnia was messy and mercurial!

But they shared a common interest- books! Though she took time, Naomi transformed into a bookworm just in time for Zinnia to emulate her. I started reading books to Naomi as a 5 month old baby which continued till she could read on her own. As a result, Zinnia was probably born a bookworm! She could read fluently before she started school!

Since we didn't watch TV, my girls never got into the habit! They had fixed timings to watch their favourite shows on CeeBeeBees (the kiddie channel of BBC) only. They were never given phones or other screens to pass time! In fact we would spend hours reading books, painting, drawing ,pasting activity or dancing to our favourite music! I guess it's true that children will always learn by example!

In fact, a few days ago, a lady I met after a long time, remembered me as 'the one who was always seen reading to her daughters'! That felt good🙂

Thankfully, Adit and I were never in disagreement as far as parenting is concerned. We were equally firm and strict when required. So, the kids know that we are the coolest parents around as long as they don't misbehave!

As a mother, I always stressed upon their conduct and behaviour. Till date my girls know that I am more concerned about how they behave and treat others than their grades!

The girls are growing up fast and catching up with the world around them.

My daughters are my life. No grade/ result is more important than them. They are smart enough to make a good life for themselves; that's my faith in my kids. I feel its more important to be a good human being and to be happy, than to be successful but unhappy and stressed out!

Marriage is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, arguments and disagreements. There will be moments of togetherness and moments of separation. It's a roller coaster ride! Just hang on tight, hold each other and enjoy the ride together! That's the secret for "happily ever after"!

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Sep 03, 2019


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