Choices

Disclaimer : I'm a huge KPop fan and you will come across names and photographs of KPop idols in most of my stories. They are my muse and inspiration in so many ways. The incidents and characters are fictional and have no resemblance to any K pop idol in any manner.

They say our choices define us. Well, sometimes life doesn't give you much of a choice, really! It's more like you are cornered so bad that you realise there's only one way open. The feeling of walking into a deadend, that claustrophobic feeling of the walls closing in on you... That's exactly how I feel right now.....But I also know I'm right and this is the right thing to do.... I'm a working woman. I work as a Financial Consultant for a small Consultancy Firm- a typical 9 to 5 job. I'm an unmarried, single mother. I adopted Alia four years back. Compared to my boring life in general, the story of Alia's adoption is quite interesting! I'm in my late 30s. Needless to say the whole world has been after my life to get married!! Not that I didn't try... Things didn't work out! Attention from the opposite sex was something I was totally used to since school days. In college I had a steady boyfriend but long distance wasn't my cup of tea! When he went for his military training I chickened out. At least I was honest and didn't keep him hanging like most girls....He never tried to get back, neither did I! Last I heard he got married. I'm happy for him! After college, initial years as a trainee were so busy that I never noticed any guys! Well, there wasn't any guy who was 'my type'! (Ah! Jungkook is the perfect man that I can never have!!!😐) Work was work and I'm a professional to the core. I still remember the day I met him ( not Jungkook!). It was raining cats and dogs! I was almost running to cross the road, umbrella in hand, because I was late for work for the first time in my life! The light turned green when I was literally pulled towards the sidewalk, as a car whizzed past me! I was saved from a sure shot hit and run!

"I'm sure this isn't the way you want to die, beautiful!" A deep male voice drawled and I looked up at a pair of black eyes. The well muscled, veiny arm that held my elbow was retracted as I shot him a confused look. He bent down to pick up my umbrella and gave it back to me, with a mixture of concern and amusement. He- Are you hurt somewhere? Me- No, I'm fine. Thank you for helping me. I'm still a little dazed and I'm already late for work! He- I will walk you to your office, if it's okay because you are limping a bit. You sure your leg is ok? Me- Yes, I'm just in shock I think.... I will be okay. Thank you for the offer though. As I limped away, I could see him watching me from a distance. He wasn't your usual tall,dark,handsome kind of guy. Since I'm tall, I feel 5'10" isn't too tall for a guy! He was definitely into gymming- a regular, I'd say. Can't say much for a first impression, except that those black eyes were beautiful and intense... They twinkled when he smiled and bored into my soul when he didn't. It wasn't just the 'almost accident' that shook me up! It was those eyes..... I finally reached my work place and went in straight to talk to the Boss. Boss- You are here, finally! You are late! Me- I'm so sorry Sir! I met with an accident while crossing the road. Boss- Oh God! Are you alright? Are you hurt? Me-Not really Sir. But I will see a doctor in the evening. There's a hospital across the road. Boss- Take care... Let me know if you want to leave early or feel unwell! I'm so thankful ! My boss is a gem of a person! A hard taskmaster and a stickler for punctuality and precision, but a fantastic human being! He is my Friday night Pubbing partner because that's one ritual we religiously follow- 5 pm, Friday night at our favourite pub for a few rounds of booze and chatting!! Boss is happily married to his college sweetheart who is a lawyer and is busier than him. They mutually decided not to have kids. Their lifestyle left them with no time for each other, how would they look after kids? Also, Ma'am isn't very crazy about kids! They make it a point to spend weekends together at some nearby resort or hill station, no matter what! They consider me as family and I can talk to them about anything under the sun!!!! When you are a single woman, your marriage is everyone's favourite topic! My parents did receive a few proposals but most of them had a problem with my job because it involved a lot of touring! They even asked me to quit my job after marriage. My parents rejected them before I could! They are still looking around though, hoping to find someone suitable for me..... Anyways, I finally got sick and tired of the entire 'mission marriage' and declared that I don't want to get married at all! My parents were upset about it and didn't talk to me for months..... Finally, one day they called me and said they respect my decision. I went home on leave for the first time in almost a year! The clock struck 5 and everyone got ready to leave. I had to meet a doctor and show my foot. I suddenly remembered the guy with the intense black eyes.....Boss accompanied me to the hospital, despite my protests. We waited for our turn to see the Doctor as I read the nameplate- Dr Dev Dutt, followed by a long list of his degrees! Finally we went in. As I heard a familiar voice and looked straight into the familiar black eyes, I couldn't hide my surprise. He smiled and waved us to the chairs in front of him. Dr- Hi again! Why don't you come and sit on this stool? I need to examine it properly. Boss- Good evening Doc! Do you know each other? ( Boss looked confused.) Me- Yes, we do. He saved me from the accident in the morning. I didn't know he is the doctor here! ( I was embarrassed... Does Boss think I came here to meet him? I didn't even know that this guy worked here! ) Boss- Okay.... I believe you. ( Boss, I can see it in your eyes. Don't lie! You don't believe me!) Me- Aaaaaahhhhh! That hurt ! Dr- I'm sorry but we need to take an x-Ray. Please come to me immediately with the report! I'm waiting. The doctor called a nurse who took me for an x-Ray and after 20 minutes, we were back in the doctor's room. He took some time to look at the X-rays and the radiologist's report. Dr- It's a hairline fracture. Your foot needs to be in a cast for 2 weeks. Don't put too much pressure on it! I watched as he meticulously wrapped my foot in a pop cast. I was watching his hands at work and suddenly he looked up. I blushed as I was caught red handed!! Dr- Done! Please take these medicines as per the prescription and meet me if there's any problem! My phone number is at the top of the prescription. Me and Boss- Thank you Doctor. Boss dropped me back home, right up to my doorstep and told me to work from home till me foot heals. I tell you, I'm really lucky to have this wonderful person as my boss! He even packed food for me so I don't have to cook anything for the next 2 days !! After dinner, I spoke to my parents and fell asleep as the pain killer started to have an effect. Another rainy morning! Thank Goodness, I don't have to go out anywhere! I called up my maid and told her I would be home for the next 15 days, so she could cook and clean in the mornings and take evenings off. Generally, it was the other way around. As I read the prescription, I remembered the Doctor and his cheesy line when he saved me. Did he really think I'm beautiful? Well, he reminds me of my favourite singer, Jungkook ! Yes, he looks a lot like Jungkook right down to that twinkle in his black eyes! Working from home was just as stressful and finally, after lunch, I took a nap as the medicine made me drowsy. The maid had cooked me enough food to last for dinner. I set my alarm for 5 pm because I had a video conference to attend and slept. One week inside the house was a bit unusual for me, but my foot felt better. I thought a million times about calling the Doc but didn't. Another week to go before I see him! The Doc was as charming as ever, flirting with me and making my heart flutter. He was smiling when he told me my foot is fine now and doesn't need the cast anymore. However he advised me to use a stick for a week so that I don't put too much pressure on it immediately. Thank God! I could go back to work now! Boss, however, refused to let me come back to office and insisted that I work from home for one more week. So, I stayed home. I finally got back to work and luckily, there's wasn't much work pending. Off and on, I would think about those black eyes and the mischievous smile.... Should I call him? Well, to thank him; that's all. As I left office, I called Doc and asked him if he is free in the evening. I wanted to thank him and treat him to a meal or a cup of coffee or beer or anything!!!! It doesn't matter as long as I can see him..... He's been on my mind a lot, lately.... He said he is free for about an hour,so we decided to go to the Cafe close by, which was famous for its coffee and chicken sandwiches. Doc was already there when I reached the Cafe. We greeted each other and he asked about my health. The coffee and the sandwiches came. Me- Thank you so much, Dr Dev. Doc-It's my job, beautiful,no need to thank me! ( Ah! That naughty twinkle is back! I kinda missed it!) Me- Still.... And please call me Mira. I have a name. Doc- If you insist, beautiful! The name is beautiful but if I call you Mira, I'll be just another contact in your phone,not someone you'd remember! Me- Are you flirting with me? I might be way older than you! I might be married with a kid, for all you know! Doc- I know you aren't married and that you are older than me, but you don't know that I like older women! ( And he winked! What a flirt!) I believe you want a child.... I can help you with that! Me- How dare you? What do you mean by that? ( I was livid! ) Don't cross your limits! Doc- Hey, cool it! You didn't even hear me out! I know this orphanage where we recently sent a newborn baby girl because the parents died in an accident. I thought you might want to take a look.... What the heck did you think about??? Yes, I like you and I flirt with you, but I know my limits! So, what do you say, beautiful? You want to go tomorrow? It's Saturday and I have a day off after ages! I would have spent it sleeping, but I'd rather accompany you to the Orphanage. Me- Sorry... I'm really sorry about that! I'm flattered that you like me. And I would love to go with you to the Orphanage tomorrow. I don't mind you calling me 'beautiful' either! ( I blushed as he smiled at me. ) Doc- So it's a date then? I'll pick you up at 9; it's a bit of a drive! Oh, carry a raincoat or a windcheater or an umbrella! Wear sensible shoes and no dresses please! We would need to walk a bit! Don't forget to send me your address! I need to rush back now! Thanks for the treat! See you tomorrow! ( With a wink and smirk, he was off!) My heartbeat finally got back to normal and I paid the bill, ready for my Friday pub session with Boss. He said he would pick me up from the Cafe itself, so I waited. We had missed two Fridays because of my foot. After a few beers and friendly chatter, Boss dropped me home. I was really excited about tomorrow and I quickly changed, ready to sleep. I sent my address to Doc and closed my eyes. I dreamt of him..... After a long scenic drive, we parked near a small hillock. I could see steep stairs leading to the orphanage. We walked up to the main office and met the lady in charge. I filled in some papers and provided the necessary documents. Then we were taken around to meet the kids.

It was heartbreaking to say the least! There were about 10 newborn babies, all girls! I just don't understand this attitude of people towards a girl child! So irrational, so pathetic and inhuman! If I could, I would adopt all 10 of them! I teared up as I felt an arm around me. I looked up at Doc. Me- I wish I could adopt all of them! Doc- You know, I feel that way every time I send a baby here.... But it isn't easy to look after and care for them..... Lady- Ma'am, there are slightly older children too. Would you like to meet them? Me- I'm sorry, I need some more time to think.... I ran out and climbed down the stairs, Doc running after me and asking me to stop. I reached the car and burst out crying. I was overwhelmed with what I saw today.... Doc made me sit inside and we drove back home in silence. When I reached home, I called my parents and Boss to discuss about the adoption. Boss- Oh, Doc took you there? He had come to my office last week and wanted to know about you. Mira, I think he likes you. Now I know how he knew so much about me. I like Doc too. But my focus is the 'adoption' right now, not Doc! After talking to my parents, Boss and his wife ( legal aspects are important too!), I called up Doc. Doc- Hi beautiful! Feeling better? All okay? Me- Yes, much better, thanks. I'm okay now! I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I am! I spoke to my parents, Boss and his wife. They say it's my decision to make and they would always support me, no matter what! What do you think? Doc- I wouldn't have even suggested if I didn't support adoption! Are you really ready for a child? Are you sure you would never marry? What if your husband wants to have a child with you? Nowadays age is not an issue, you know! Me- What if I don't want to marry at all? Well, I might consider if it's you, but would you be okay if I don't want to have your child and want to adopt instead? Doc- (shocked) - Are you serious now? Are you proposing marriage to me? And saying you don't want to have my kids? Me- Answer me,please. This is important. Doc- You know, till I met you, I didn't even want to get married! I learnt that you are 38; I'm 30. I learnt that you don't want to get married but I was ready to take my chances with you! I was fine with your decision to adopt. But, I do want to have my own kids one day.... We can adopt and have our own baby too! Me- Doc, I'm so glad we had this conversation. I'm sorry but I can't bear children. My uterus was removed last year and that's when I thought of adoption and being unmarried all my life. When I met you I almost changed my decision and thought about marriage. But I guess this is my fate! You want kids but I can't give you any! Doc- I'm sorry Mira....I didn't mean it like that.... I really want to marry you! Me- No, Doc. We cannot marry. I can't live in guilt all my life for being unable to bear your child! I also can't be unfair to my child. Look, I won't judge you for speaking frankly with me! I won't judge you for your choices or preferences in life. We are all entitled to our happiness....None of us right or wrong here! I'm not going to blame you for anything.... And I hope you won't blame me for anything either....We only flirted! It wasn't even serious! You will get over me in no time! I hope you find a wonderful girl and get married soon! Doc ( crying)- I'm so sorry Mira.... I didnt want us to end like this!!! I am sorry if I hurt you.... Me- Please don't cry and don't blame yourself for anything! Who says we ended here, handsome? We can always be friends, right? Actually, that's one thing I always yearned for- a handsome 'boy' friend who I can confide in, hug and flirt with, I can talk to about anything under the sun! Will you be that friend, handsome guy? Doc- Ah! I know what you are doing here! But thanks for being such a wonderful and kind person! I'm feeling better now! And yes, beautiful, I will be that 'boy' friend in your life! We both laughed and agreed to go back to the orphanage next day. Like I said, our choices define us. Our choices make or break us. Once we make the choice, the decision, we must stick to it and take responsibility for the good or bad that comes with it! My choices are my own and no one else is responsible for the consequences of my choice, my decision! Happiness, is also a choice! We can choose to be happy no matter what, or we can choose to be unhappy! Take your pick! Make your choice! So, I have decided that unless it's Jungkook I'm marrying, I don't want to get married at all!!! That's my second best decision in life, by the way! The first one being - adopting Alia!! She has transformed my life with her mere presence in it..... Now she has started school and I'm working from home, full time! Boss and Ma'am dote on their 'godchild' Alia and my parents spoil her silly! Doc is still a bachelor and Alia is his partner in crime, posing as his daughter, to keep unwanted attention at bay and to gain sympathy from desired women! I swear, Doc will remain an incorrigible flirt all his life!! That handsome devil!